Recent political scandals have brought the issue of "sexting" back to the forefront. As obvious as it is to you that one should not engage in that kind of risky behavior, and even if you had the talk with your child about it, it's time to talk again. Because that politician likely knew he shouldn't be doing what he was doing, and was sure he wouldn't get caught. Ahem.

The lure of technology

No doubt about it, technology is a lure. It's instant gratification for information, connection and, well, so much more. There's a reason adult-themed content takes up so much of the Internet content. But it's also one of the reasons we put limits on technology for our kids -- to help them learn to balance the lure of the content on those screens with real life and real choices and consequences. It's why we need to keep talking to them about the choices that technology makes available. Beyond the simple right and wrong of the behavior, technology plays a role.

No one thinks they will get caught

When it comes to sexting and other risky technology-based actions, no one thinks they will get caught. That politician certainly didn't. He thought he had it all under control. To be honest, he did for a long time. But one slip up with technology -- the kind of slip up that is oh-so-easy for anyone -- and it was totally out of his control. That same thing can and does happen to teens engaging in risky behaviors. Teens just like yours.

Once it's out there, it's out there

Just as with email, content put on Facebook and other social media sites, instant messaging and websites, once something is out there, it's out there. Sites are backed up, content is stored in memory and internet surfing is cached. It's like a blackboard at the front of a classroom. It's there for all to see. Only put it out there if you really want it out there. Grandma could potentially see it. Really. If your teen doesn't want grandma to know what he's doing with his girlfriend, he shouldn't put it in a text message on his phone or in a picture message. And if he's sure he won't get caught? See above.

Keep talking

So you, as a parent, have to keep talking. Talk again and again and again about issues like sexting and appropriate online behavior. Your teen likely will groan and moan and say, "Mom! We already talked about this! I know." And even then keep talking. Because that politician thought he wouldn't get caught, either.

That said, you don't need to embarrass your child unnecessarily to have this repeat conversation. Look for a quiet time when you are alone -- and your child is your captive audience. Time in the car is often a good time, or in the course of working on a project or chores at home. Keep the conversation clear, to the point and brief. You can also take the time to reassure your child that even if he or she did make a less than stellar choice in terms of sexting, you'd still love them, and you're pretty sure no one has died of embarrassment yet.

These are challenging conversations to be sure. But have them. They are topics that definitely do not "go without saying."

More on kids and sexting

Talking to teens about sexting
Teen sexting: What parents can do
Teaching teens about cell phone safety

Gothic Vampira costume Your little gothic vampire will fit right in with the rest of her blood-sucking friends, but thanks to this Chasing Fireflies gothic vampire costume , she'll have the best costume around. With the dramatic lace detail and deep blood red shimmer satin, she'll be haunting for the best candy. Complete the look with some fangs and maybe even some red lipstick.

Zombie costume He's alive... and coming after your candy! This super scary zombie costume has every attention to detail covered, from the tattered shirt and ghastly headpiece to the chest scar and broken shackles. Your tween zombie will look like he has just escaped the super secret scientific testing lab and is ready to prowl the dark streets on Halloween night. Add some stiff arms and a staggering limp and you've got yourself a creepy monster-like zombie.

Spiderina costume Little Miss Spiderina is quite the trend-setting witch and with colors that bright, you'll be able to spot her a mile away. The standup collar and pink tulle will make her the girliest witch around on Halloween night. Don't forget her broom or she'll have nothing to clean up all the spiders that cross her path.

Skeleton costume The most versatile Halloween costume this year is the simple Pottery Barn Teen skeleton costume . I've overheard so many tween boys say that they are planning to dress as a "skeleton skateboarder" or a "skeleton zombie" or a "skeleton something or other". With this simple hoodie-style fleece costume, your skeleton will be warm while spooking the competition. To build on this costume, simply add a skeleton mask, a skateboard , fake blood and you're all set.

Angry Birds Good luck getting your hands on one of these highly coveted flying birds for less than $75, but if you do , you will be the coolest mom ever. With this Halloween costume, your Angry Bird will fly through the streets seeking the best candy for the highest score. Just make it completely clear that you have no plans to build a life-size slingshot.

Monster High Ghoulia Yelps Your tween can be freakishly fabulous this Halloween night as Ghoulia Yelps , the geek chic brainiac with retro cat-eye glasses and a long blue wig. As the daughter of the zombies, Ghoulia Yelps will blow away the other monsters as the smartest kid in school with the best style.

Super Mario Power-up with this life-like Mario costume . Complete with an inflatable belly, matching hat, signature mustache and realistic jumpsuit, your tween will advance to new levels while looking the part on Halloween night.

Check out our other great Halloween costume guides >>

Virtual worlds for tweens

If your child has outgrown Club Penguin and Webkinz, consider some of these popular virtual worlds suited for tweens. You should always check out a virtual world website before letting your child participate and use parental controls if available and necessary.

Read about online arcade games for kids and tweens >>

Virtual worlds for teens

Kids don't outgrow virtual worlds when they hit their teenage years. Many virtual worlds are geared toward the teenage set and they are gaining popularity every day.

Hundreds of other virtual worlds are available. Other popular choices among teens and tweens include ActiveWorlds, Chit Chat City, Fantage, Whyville, Kaneva, Second Life, SmallWorlds and World of Warcraft.

Read about online games for teens >>

Currency in virtual worlds

Many virtual worlds allow players to purchase in-game currency and merchandise with real world money. For parents who are worried about using their credit cards in virtual worlds, now they have an alternative — Openbucks.

Launched in September 2011, Openbucks allows you to purchase gift cards at one of more than 100,000 locations in the U.S. and Canada, and then use those gift cards as payment for online games and at ecommerce websites. It's a simple, safe method to pay online. According to Itamar Kandel, president and co-founder of Openbucks, "Virtual goods purchases are projected to reach $10 billion by 2013 so we believe the gaming market is a great place to start."

For parents looking to limit the spending of their teens and tweens, Openbucks seems like a fabulous option.

Image credit: stardoll

More about online activities

Free online games your kids will love
Online safety for tweens and teens
Teens and the consequences of social media

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 If you tween loves the Harry Potter series, get the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 three-disc Blu-ray/DVD combo, plus UltraViolet Digital Copy. Originally priced at $35.99, you can get it now on Amazon.com with a Prime price of just $19.99. If you want to add Part 1, the Blu-ray disc is just $9.99.

Ottilie & Lulu Gift Set Ottilie & Lulu is a skin care line just for tweens ages 7 to 14. Developed by tween mom Deborah Hernan, the line is perfect for girls who are too old for baby products yet too sensitive for products geared toward teens and adults. And now, you can give back while you shop. Ottilie & Lulu has partnered with KiDS of NYU Langone where you can buy one gift set for your tween and donate the same set to a child in the hospital. Check out the Ottilie & Lulu website to find gift sets starting at $20.00.

Multi Voice Changer by Toysmith Tweens love this fun voice changer. It features 10 different voice modifiers and you can use the side levers to create hundreds more variations. Perfect for pranks and other fun, this battery-powered Multi Voice Changer is a very affordable gift for tweens at just $14.99 at Amazon.com.

Fanny Wang Headphones For your tweens who love music, give them a customized pair of headphones to fit their music and their fashion tastes. With these cool headphones, you can choose from a wide variety of colors for seven different parts of the headphones -- the outside band, inside band, center disc, sound chambers, accent strip, ear muffs and cords. So really, you have more than a million possible color combinations to choose from. Check out this rockin' gift idea at fannywang.com. Prices start at $219.95.

Anything Twilight If your tween is a Twilight fan, you can snag tickets to the latest film, Twilight Breaking Dawn: Part 1, purchase DVDs of the previous movies, or buy some cool Twilight merchandise. In addition to the movies, music and books, you can find jewelry, clothing, collectible dolls and even life-size cardboard cutouts of the Twilight stars.

Get more great gift ideas in The Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide >>

LEGO Life of George LEGO gets interactive with the smart technology and brings Life of George to LEGO-loving tweens. Your tween will enjoy this interactive 12-level building game, which has a single or two player mode, and a creation mode that allows you to design and save your very own creations in a digital photo album. To play, download the free Life of George app at iTunes and purchase the Life of George set -- which includes 144 LEGO bricks, one playmat, a getting started guide and George sticker.

Hot Wheels Video Racer Micro Camera Car The Hot Wheels Video Racer is the first 1:65 scale track-compatible car with a built-in video camera. The tiny video camera can record up to 12 minutes of footage and includes a LCD screen for instant viewing satisfaction. Also included with the Video Racer is a clip and strap to attach it to virtually anything your tween boy can think of -- bikes, helmets, skateboards and more. Take it a step further by allowing your tween to edit the video footage online with the Hot Wheels Video Racer Software.

Razor Sole Skate The Sole Skate is just about the same size of your tween's shoe making it a stealth and quick ride for boys on the go. The three-wheel design gives the Sole Skate some added stability and although it only weighs 2.5 pounds, it can carry up to 220 pounds. The Sole Skate includes an advanced safety feature, which prevent the board from flying too far away from the rider when a small center button is not engaged by the rider's foot

Skylanders Spyro's Adventure Your tween will love this new, interactive and smart video game, Skylanders Spyro's Adventure . The Skylander figurines synch automatically with the game when placed on the included Portal of Power and each character stores its own information and even remembers the levels you have previously explored and what battles you have already won. Play alone, with multiple players and even take your Skylanders to a friend's house to play on any compatible gaming system. The Skylanders game provides tween boys with multiple critical-thinking challenges and hidden mini-games, making it a fun and engaging video game.

Amazon Kindle Touch Give your tween boy the gift of responsibility this year with his very own Kindle Touch . Encourage reading, easy reading on the go, borrow library books and take the Kindle experience to another level with the new X-ray feature. With X-ray you can learn more about your book's characters, historical figures and interesting phrases. The new and sleek Kindle Touch holds 3,000 books, offers text-to-speech, audiobooks, mp3 support and with built-in Wi-Fi, you can get books in about 60 seconds.

Bowers and Wilkins C5 In-Ear Headphones The ultra-cool Bowers and Wilkins C5 in-ear headphones are the perfect gift for the tween who has everything. These high tech headphones stay in pace with the unique and secure loop design and allows you to lose yourself in your music. Experience headphones like never before with the C5's snug fit, realistic sound and noise isolation. These stylish and practical headphones are made for your tween's iPod Touch or iPad thanks to the Apple-approved MFi cable, which includes its own remote control and microphone.

Get more great gift ideas in The Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide >>

Little Miss Matched Zany Sweater Boots Go above and beyond being stylish with these Little Miss Matched Zany sweater boots . Part sock, part boot, these comfortable and warm shoes let out your tween's inner diva and allows her proudly display her unique personality. Little Miss Matched items don't match, but they do coordinate perfectly and look great with skinny jeans, legging, tights, shorts and skirts.

Gummy Bear lights Bring cheer to your tween girl's bedroom with these delicious Gummy Bear lights . These cute, rubbery bears make a great decoration during the day and then at night, they become colorful LED nightlights with just a squeeze of the belly. Adjust the settings to your liking by selecting the one-hour automatic timer or keep your bear lit until you squeeze the belly once more to turn it off.

American Girl Kanani doll and paperback book The American Girl Kanani doll is the 2011 Girl of the Year! Get Kanani while you can and start -- or add to -- your tween's American Girl collection. This 18 inch cloth-bodied doll proudly wears her tropical dress, faux hibiscus flower, kukui nut necklace, ruffled sandals and comes complete with the Aloha, Kanani paperback book. Your tween girl will love styling Kanani's hair, reading all about her adventures and using her vivid imagination with this holiday must-have gift.

Nintendo 3DS There's no need for special glasses with the new, cutting-edge Nintendo 3DS game system . With a built-in motion sensor and gyro sensor, the Nintendo 3DS reacts to tilt and move motion and responds instantly. Your tween girl will adore the stylish new colors, LCD touch screen, adjustable stylist, touch control and two outer 3-D cameras. The 3-D cameras allow your tween to create and store her very own 3-D pictures.

Tokidoki Hello Kitty Wristwatch Tokidoki and Sanrio have teamed up to bring your tween girl this new, limited edition Hello Kity wristwatch from the ultra popular Best Friends collection. As an all-time favorite of tweens, Hello Kitty has now turned into a fashionista and is all dressed up as Sandy -- while hanging out with all her best friends

Get more great gift ideas in The Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide >>

Kidz Bop 21

Parent's can rest their fears -- and ears -- with this Kidz Bop album. These kid and tween-friendly songs are all of today's hottest hits, sung by tweens and teens. All of the song lyrics are changed to eliminate explicit language and most innuendoes. It's not the real version but with your tween in your car, you'll still be able to listen to current songs without the guilt or worry of bad language and influences.

Available on iTunes for $10.99

5 tips for traveling with your tween >>

Hampsterdance the Album

Warning: This album will drive parents crazy, so it's best to turn it on and leave the room -- or invest in ear plugs. While the annoying and repetitive sounds of songs like "The Hamsterdance Song," "Hampster Party" and "Hampsters Get the Blues" from Hampton the Hampster drive parents bananas, kids seem to love him.

Available on iTunes for $9.99

Disneymania 6

Even though your kids are growing up, there will always be a special place in their hearts for the classic Disney songs. This album brings the classics to life with a new twist, as all the songs are sung by today's hottest kid's artists -- Demi Lovato, The Cheetah Girls and even parent favorites like Colbie Caillat, Billy Ray Cyrus and Plain White T's. Even parents will get their toes tapping and their vocals warmed up to sing along.

Available on iTunes for $9.99

The Fresh Beat Band

The children's pop band The Fresh Beat Band combines rock, dance, pop, punk and rap for harmless, fun and catchy tunes perfect for kids of all ages. These songs are so catchy, they will be stuck in everyone's head for days or possibly weeks!

Available on iTunes for $10.99

Kids' playlist makeover >>

Here Comes Science by They Might Be Giants

Play music that has a meaning with the Here Comes Science album by They Might Be Giants. Covering topics like astronomy, evolution, the color spectrum and electric cars in a wide variety of their songs, your kids will tap to the beats while absorbing useful and interesting information.

Available on iTunes for $9.99

Juicebox Heroes by Imagination Movers

The clever and catchy songs from the hit Disney TV show Imagination Movers have learning experiences or positive meanings behind the words. With songs about the first day of school, cleaning your room and working together, this album is every parent's dream. It helps that the music is dance-worthy and fun, too!

Available on iTunes for $9.99

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When your children reach their tweens, finding the right way to initiate conversation can suddenly feel awkward.

Watch TV with tweens and start talking!

Whether the topic is teen pregnancy, homosexuality, divorce or drug/alcohol abuse, there is a TV episode that covers it. Looking for some great shows to watch with your tweens that get conversation started? Keep reading for five shows that bring hot topics to the family room sofa.

What is the best way to discuss issues with your tweens, hopefully before they face them? Come on too strong, and your tween is likely to tune you out. Soft-pedal around an issue and your tween loses respect for you. Donna Fish, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, says "We often feel that we have to 'teach' our kids things. Try to listen without being judgmental. Our kids need to feel that we are their allies and understand their position. Validate their responses. You can always help them problem solve later."

The Middle

The family in The Middle has two teens in the cast of characters, plus a younger sibling. The middle child is an awkward high school girl struggling to find her niche. She is positive and perseverant. Family dynamics, sibling rivalry and awkwardness are all themes that are great conversation starters.

Read more on sibling rivalry >>

Pull up a chair, pop some popcorn and watch some television with your tween. Who knows what it might stir up?

More ideas for talking to your tweens and teens

How to talk to teenagers
How to help your child talk to you
Connecting with your kids: Strategies for tough conversations

Real moms share the horrifying middle school experiences their children have encountered. Brace yourself for some shocking true stories!

Shocking true stories of middle school angst

Your child's transition to middle school is tough. Combine the move with an influx of hormones and popularity cliques, and it's a recipe for middle school disaster.

More on the middle school years

Tips for managing the middle school transition
Helping your middle schooler have a peaceful year
How much independence should a middle school child have?

Childhood obesity is a dangerous and, unfortunately, a widespread problem.

Helping your tween get healthy and fit

If your tween is suffering with his/her weight, it's important to encourage your child to adopt healthy eating and exercise habits now to avoid a host of health problems in the future.

How kids benefit from organized athletics >>

Offer healthy food options

Your tween isn't going to lose weight if the rest of your household is munching on sugar-filled snacks and fat-laden meals. Make dieting easier for your tween by filling your refrigerator and pantry with nutritious food options. Though your tween might be tempted to overeat at school, you can provide a solid base at home with healthy breakfast, dinner and snack choices. Make water the go-to beverage in your home instead of soda, juice and other sugary drinks. Serve salad with dinner every night, and offer your kids a variety of whole grains, lean meat, colorful fruits and veggies, and healthy fats.

Fun, smart snacks for kids >>

More about kids' health

How to break the cycle of childhood obesity
How eating organic improves your child's health
10 Fast fixes for your child's diet

It was just yesterday that you were picking out diapers and now you are shopping for her first bra. Your little girl is becoming a woman and bra shopping can be stressful for both of you.

How to make bra shopping easier

Follow these helpful tips to make her first bra shopping experience a little easier.

It's important to buy your daughter her first bra in the early stages of breast development. She's probably a bit self-conscious about the changes to her body, so be sure to support her in any way you can. What you do and say can boost your daughter's self-esteem and help her develop a healthy, positive body image.

Go it alone

Leave her brothers and her dad at home. When shopping for your daughter's first bra, she doesn't need an audience. Make it a mother-daughter day out, and bra shopping can be just one of the many things on your to-do list.

Measure up

Take your daughter to a professional bra fitting to find the perfect fit. It's estimated that 80 percent of women are wearing the wrong bra size, so maybe you need a fitting too. If she's totally against the idea of going to a pro , measure her yourself at home. Measure the diameter around her rib cage, below the breasts, to get the band size. For the cup size , measure around the fullest part of the breasts. Subtract the band measurement from the bust measurement. If the difference is a half-inch or less, then her cup size is AA. If it's a half-inch to an inch, then it's A; an inch to 2-1/2 inches, it's B. Bigger than that? This shouldn't be her first bra.

More about tweens

How to help your tween lose weight
5 tips for traveling with tweens
Parenting teens and tweens

Can your child stay home alone without you arranging for a sitter to come? SheKnows offers some tips to help you determine if your child is ready to stay home without a babysitter.

Home alone

Check the laws

There is no one “right” age when letting your child stay home alone is OK, but many state laws can provide its residents with guidelines to help parents determine what’s approved in their home states. Considering your child’s age is important , but his maturity level is the real bar by which you should be making your decision.

Responsibility

Is your child responsible enough to know — and follow — basic rules of your home? Does she have the desire to stay home by herself? Being in an empty home for the first time can be scary for any child, so make sure your child is not only responsible enough for this task but also eager to try staying home without the sitter. We realize in some instances she may not have the choice but it’s important to give her the option if possible.

Check out these 7 ways to teach your child responsibility >>

Find out if you can really trust your teen >>

Prep your child

Before you go out, let your child know where you’ll be and when you plan to be back. If you are close with one of the neighbors in your area or have a friend nearby, give them a heads up that you’ll be leaving your child home alone for the first time and put them on “standby” in case your child needs to get in touch with someone before you can get home. Meanwhile when you are out, keep your cell handy at all times but...

Why pocket money can also help your child become more independent >>

More on...

Teaching responsibility and chores
The kids' home alone debate: What the right age?
Nurturing independence at any age

Why are kids moody?

Some parents may think that major moodiness doesn’t surface in full force until the teenage years, but tweens can definitely push the patience when it comes to moody outbursts.

It’s often thought that teens have the market cornered when it comes to moodiness, but many parents of tweens would argue that their kids can give their older counterparts a run for their money.

What causes tweens to be moody and how can parents handle the dramatic ups and downs that can sometimes define the pre-teen years?

Already?

Ask a group of parents what age they find most challenging and most will say the teenage years… unless they have a moody tween. It turns out, the drama associated with teenagers can start much earlier than often expected. "Kids develop at different rates and developmental trends are showing that children today are beginning puberty at earlier ages than in the past," says Jerry Weichman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist specializing in adolescents and author of the book How to Deal. "The beginning of puberty commonly marks an emotional time where tweens are also fighting to establish their own identity and gain a sense of independence from their parents."　

Read about the 5 signs your tween may be entering early puberty >>

Tweens can be mean

High school is typically considered an extremely difficult time in a child’s life but middle school kids can be particularly difficult. "My experience with tweens in my practice is that whether it’s dealing with friends, bullying or peer pressure, middle schoolers are harder on one another than high schoolers," says Dr. Weichman. "This is also when kids begin to rebel against things that are not enjoyable such as homework, chores, and family obligations for no other reason than it is not what they want to do. This typically does not bode well for the parent-child dynamic." On top of all of this, tweens today are enveloped by the unrealistic expectations of pop culture, and constantly influenced by social media trends . No wonder they’re a moody bunch.

Find out how to protect kids from cyber-bullying >>

Sometimes the tween moodiness can enter without warning, leaving many parents wondering what happened to the sweet kid they knew just yesterday. It can be difficult to not take this sudden change in demeanor personally, but parents need to remember that mood swings are just a part of adolescence. Dr. Weichman recommends that parents take the following steps when a moody tween becomes a part of your household:

Unfortunately, you never know how long this moody phase will last. It could be short-lived or it could extend well into the teen years. Either way, it’s all a part of the joys of parenting.

Read more about parenting tweens

Too young for Facebook? Social sites for your tweens
Is your tween wearing more makeup than you?
How to handle tweens with attitude

　

Kids have a way of surprising us. Their personalities are their own, often in spite of us parents, and what piques their interests can be a mystery. Why does one child feel compelled to get involved in a local election while another could care less? There are as many answers to that as the reasons politicians “stretch the truth!“ As a parent, it can seem annoying or even amusing when a child goes down a political path.

Tolerance and support

If politics is something that doesn’t interest you, you do need to choose how much you will support your child’s interests. Will you drive her to meetings or demonstrations? Or simply tolerate his near constant commentary on the topic? There’s no one right answer here.

Learn together

When a child becomes politically aware and active, it’s a great opportunity for the whole family to learn more about the issues at hand, from multiple different angles. This not only teaches about a single issue, but about what it means to be truly informed on a topic.

If and when your child becomes politically active, you might be taken aback at first. But then step back, look at the big picture, and work to have an open, ongoing conversation with your child about her interest and reasoning. You might even learn a little something — and get a little more politically active — in the process.

More on kids and politics

Talking politics to kids
Raising a Weepublican or a Demoquat: Getting your kids involved in politics
Monday Mom challenge: Consider your political tone

What inspired you to write about being an available parent?

Dr. John Duffy: I was inspired to write a book by some of the teenagers that I worked with. They suggested that their lack of emotional availability to their parents is due, at least in part, to their parents’ lack of emotional availability to them. I heard this frequently, and from enough different teenagers, to believe it. Once I found myself repeating the same themes over and over again to different parents, the book became all but inevitable.

Stay in touch

In your book, The Available Parent, you write that a parent's top priority should be staying in touch with their kids. How do you do that with moody and distant tweens and teens?

Dr. Duffy: I encourage parents to take advantage of any opportunity they might have to connect with their children, as moody as they might be. Most teenagers I work with typically have a time of day when they’re most vulnerable, or regressive. Take advantage of those times to connect. The worst time to connect is in the midst of conflict.

I use the word “availability” very deliberately. Though your kids may choose not to communicate with you too frequently, you need to let them know that you’re available to connect with them.

Lose the ego

Can you explain how "availability" is the ability to understand your child's need to pull away?

Dr. Duffy: I define “availability” as parenting free of judgment, fear, and especially ego. If we’re free of these negative influences, we can recognize that an important part of parenting is the ability to let go and allow our children to explore their world. However, if our parental fear, judgment and ego take center stage, we tend to rob our children of their ability to prove themselves smart, capable and competent to themselves.

What do you think parents today need to work on when it comes to relating with their kids?

Dr. Duffy: Too often today, parents focus on the negatives with their children. They focus on the wrong crowd their child is hanging out with, the grade they disapprove of, the style of dress they frown upon, and so on. Though this is all part of parenting, it can't be the primary part of parenting. Parenting, especially parenting teenagers, requires a strong, positive connection. This means more positive interaction with your children than negative.

Enjoying our kids, having fun with them, fosters the most effective parenting. If we’re available to our children in this way, they’re more likely to listen to us. As available parents, we’re not the unwitting, ineffectual enemies. We’re always there for our kids as guides and consultants.

Read more on relating to teens and tweens

Parenting Guru: Do you blow off your kids?
How to talk to teenagers
Parenting Guru: Are you an empowered parent?

There's a big difference between elementary school and middle school. In fact, many moms will tell you that middle school was harder than high school.

Preparing your tween for the next three years

So what should you tell your child to be prepared for? What are the biggest differences? Read on for the information you should arm your son or daughter with as they get ready to make the big leap to the bigger school.

Most likely, for the better part of the past six years, your child has been in the same school. He knows his way around. He's used to the teachers, the classrooms, the procedures. And now, as he prepares to head off to middle school, it's important to realize he is about to experience some huge changes in his school experience. Dr. Jennifer Powell-Lunder, a clinical psychologist and co-author of the book, Teenage as a Second Language, says the best way to understand the transition from elementary school and middle school, is for parents to first understand the main differences between them.

Experts agree that in middle school, one of the most important things your child will have to learn is organization. Up to this point, your son or daughter has likely had a lot of help from his teachers to stay on top of assignments. But in middle school, the responsibility will start to fall on him more than ever. "If you have a child who is less organized than other kids, the adjustment can be more difficult. Especially because the kids change classes and, as such, tend to have multiple binders and folders," says Powell.

"This is the time when children must learn to balance their time with school work and the demands and expectations from several teachers, as well as their friends," says Ali Lorio, former middle school teacher and author of Champion Parenting, Giving Your Child the Competitive Edge.

How you can help: "Work with your child to label each subject folder and create notebook sections for each class. If organization does not come easily to your tween, a color coding system can be quite helpful: one color for each subject including a separate notebook and folder. These visual cues can do the trick for even the most disorganized tween," recommends Powell.

Former middle school teacher Sheila Kreditor Lobel also offers this advice to help kids avoid getting buried in papers. "Many students get into the habit of stash-and-dash at the end of the class period, which means by the end of the week they're buried in papers. If you make it an expectation that Friday is paper filing day, your child will be very happy to start each week organized and able to find what she needs. Help her at first, then wean your child as she shows she can be more independent."

Up next: More challenges and solutions >>

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Believe it or not, when tweens are asked about the number one issue that worries them about middle school, it's the lockers. "Specifically tweens worry they will have trouble opening their locker; they worry they will have trouble finding their locker especially between classes in the new building; they worry they won’t have enough time to get to their classes on time if they stop at their locker," says Powell.

How you can help: "Provide a combination lock on which your tween can practice so at least he gains confidence in his ability to get it opened and closed. Ask older siblings to offer a pep talk. If your child has an older sibling at the middle school already, ask her to keep an eye out and offer assistance before the school year starts," Powell advises.

When your child transitions to middle school, the school will be considerably larger, which can be overwhelming for your child whose used to a much smaller space. "Much of what kids experience overall is the stress and anxiety associated with the change in the physical plant and the change in procedure and expectations," says Powell.

How you can help: "Parents can help quell much of their child’s anxiety. If possible, visit the school several times before opening day," suggests Powell.

You can probably remember your own middle school horror stories — especially the harsh memories of trying to find the social circles you were most comfortable in. Now, your child will be going through the same thing. "This is the time when young people tend to form cliques, and there can be problems with some adolescents being ostracized or feeling like they just don't fit in," remarks Lobel. "Middle schoolers can be mean. Sometimes they don't even know they're being hurtful."

How you can help: "Keep the lines of communication open but also know when to be a mute chauffeur," proposes Lobel. "Always volunteer to carpool groups of kids. Kids often forget you're at the wheel and you can learn a lot about their social life."

As if juggling the emotional changes isn't hard enough, your child will also have to deal with the physical ones — like acne, the menstral cyle and growth spurts. "As puberty kicks in, your tween may be feeling a bit awkward due to changes in her body. The transition to the new and larger school can add to the discomfort," says Powell.

How you can help: Powell says that a little positive reinforcement can go a long way."Find simple ways to help build your tween’s confidence and self-esteem. Ask her to help you at home and be sure to compliment her when she does."

It might be your instinct to step aside because your child is getting older and becoming more responsible, but Lorio urges against this. "Many times parents automatically relinquish their authority to the child once the child hits the middle school. It is highly suggested that parents continue to monitor and keep an organized routine allowing the child to gain confidence in his new environment and additional responsibilities." Parents should stay involved by:

• Attending school meetings, events, and/or acting as volunteers
• Staying informed about school programs, course curriculum, teacher expectations, and students' progress on a regular basis
• Monitoring all friendships
• Networking with other parents
• Supervising the child's educational and outside activities while maintaining high expectations

Read more tips for managing the middle school transition >>

More about your tween and middle school

How to deal with mean girl cliques
Helping your middle schooler have a peaceful school year
How much independence should a middle school child have?

Skinny is in

Like it or not, skinny jeans are still a huge fashion staple, and it doesn't matter how young or old the wearer. Opt for jeans that are fitted but not super tight — this is both to keep them age-appropriate and to make sure you don't have to trade them in for the next size up in a month. If you're not too keen on your tween wearing skinny jeans, pair them with a long tunic or a short dress so they're worn more as leggings.

Check out these denim brights >>

Go simple up top

Now is a great time to teach your tween about not overdoing it. There's nothing wrong with putting bold color on the bottom of your outfit, but you should probably tone down your top to keep things balanced. If your tween chooses bright-colored denim pants, stick with neutral colors like white, black or gray for her shirt. If she's not a fan of solid shirts, choose a simple striped top or a shirt with a small pattern, but try to find a pattern that's not too crazy or busy.

Start slow

Colored jeans are a lot to get used to, even for a fashion-forward tween. If she's timid about making such a bold statement, start off with royal blue. They're bright and fun, but not too far away from the standard jeans she's accustomed to.

Learn how to make your own colored denim >>

Choose your colors carefully

Those pretty pink jeans really are gorgeous, but how are they going to fit in with her winter wardrobe? Choose colors that will easily go from season to season, like orange, red, green and blue. It'll save you from having to buy a whole new wardrobe every few months and ensure you get your money out of what you buy.

How to embrace the colored jeans trend >>

Tone down the shoes

Your tween probably has a closet packed full of crazy shoes. While shoes that sparkle, glitter, shine and blink are all very in for that age group, they don't mix well with colored denim. Neither do patterned shoes. Colored denim is bright and bold and should be the only look-at-me piece in her outfit. Everything else should be toned down and neutral, so go for solid shoes, probably in neutral tones.

More tween fashion tips from SheKnows

Tween makeup: Sweet or slutty?
One-stop shopping for fabulous kids' clothes
Stylish or sleazy: An honest look at your daughter's style

Once your child hits middle school, her social life takes center stage. Play dates at the park with your mom friends and their kids are a thing of the past. Your tween wants to spend time with her own friends without you hanging around. This budding new independence means that you need to rethink some of your rules and boundaries. While your child may still seem so young, it is important to acknowledge her maturity and ability to think for herself. This is a difficult adjustment for some parents who worry about the safety of young tweens. How do you decide what is an acceptable amount of freedom?

What moms need to know about moving to middle school >>

On their own — sort of

Kristin, mother of two, allows her middle school child to meet up with a group of friends at the movie theater. Movies provide an opportunity for tweens to have some freedom, but still be in a relatively safe place. The start and end time of the show are readily available, and parents can pick their child up soon after the movie has ended. You may want to have a rule that the kids need to stay together, and that nobody should leave the group alone to visit the restroom or snack bar.

Hanging out at the local mall is a rite of passage for tweens, but brings a whole new set of concerns. Parents worry that there may be child predators lurking at the mall, or that there are too many potential ways for the kids to get separated from each other. Laura, who is the mother of three teenage boys, enforces the rule that if her son wants to take the bus to the mall, he has to go with friends. She started allowing this in middle school, and still enforces the same rule now that he is 15 years old. One way you can give tweens a bit of freedom at the mall — and still feel like you are supervising — is to stay at the mall yourself, but out of sight. Bring a book, grab a café mocha and snag a seat somewhere in the mall where they won’t be likely to notice.

Sure it’s hard, but by giving your middle school child a bit more independence each year, you are letting him grow and mature into a confident, capable teenager.

More on parenting tweens

Battling a moody tween
Signs you've got a gossip girl
Too young for Facebook? Social sites for tweens

Other popular options for tween and teen girls include Lady Gaga costumes, as well as Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj. Just make sure that when they are dressing up as celebrities that the costumes aren't too risque or revealing for their age.

Check out more costumes in our Ultimate Halloween costume guide >>

Why are they so darn mean?

Many moms may not be able to remember what they ate for breakfast this morning, but ask them about middle school and they can recount stories at the drop of a hat — especially the tales of those nightmare mean girl Queen Bees — the same kind that are now targeting their daughters.

The Bee might be different, but the mean still hurts just the same.

So why, why, why do they do it?

“Mean girls are mean because it works,” according to Jen Hancock, author of The Bully Vaccine. “It gives them power over other kids.”

So how can you help stop the mean girl?

It can feel so helpless to watch your daughter struggle with a mean girl. And you just want to know how to make it stop. But how? Even though you might be tempted to go to the school, wait by the locker and give that girl a talking to, experts agree your child needs to handle it. But she does need your help getting prepared.

Take away the mean girl's power

“You take away that power by refusing to be hurt by what they are doing,“ says Hancock. “If your child is called stupid, for instance, she can say something like, 'thank you for that information, it's very helpful' in as bored and sarcastic a voice as possible. The child needs to practice saying these words at home several times to be ready for the next time it happens. You need to let your child know they are going to have to say this several times before the mean girl gives up and finds someone else to hassle.”

You can also give your child this script:

Dr. Soroya Bacchus suggests that your daughter say this:

“I feel truly sorry for you. You must be incredibly insecure to have to resort to treating others like this as a way to feel better about yourself.“

Dr. Bacchus then advises that your daughter simply walks away. “This can be a wake-up call for the mean girl and perhaps prevent her from treating others the way you have been treated in the past. Then, you can leave knowing you are the bigger person and continue being a positive force in the universe,“ adds Bacchus.

Help your child develop compassion for the mean child

Across the board, experts also agree that your daughter should try to feel for the mean girl. Say what? Feel bad for her after she’s been so mean? Yes.

“Often the mean girl is jealous and scared and that is why they behave as poorly as they do. You need to help your child realize that the mean girls' behavior is all about the mean girl's insecurities and it really has nothing to do with your child at all. They are just a convenient way for the mean child to work out their insecurities,” says Hancock.

“The compassion and feeling sympathy for the mean girl doesn't mean what they are doing is OK, it just means you aren't going to take what they do personally because it's not really about you even though it is directed at you.“

Boost your teen girl's self-confidence >>

Time to move on and make new friends

“Ultimately, the best solution is to help and encourage your child to make friends with other kids so that they are less dependent on the mean girl,” suggests Hancock.

Jennifer Little, Ph.D., a pre-K through 12 teacher for almost 40 years with 12 years at middle school adds, “I have told the students that they will continue getting the same results if they don't change their behaviors, and that change has to come from them. If they don't want to continue getting the same results, it is change or drop the friendship.”

Helping teens form real relationships >>

Delete her number. Don’t respond to texts. In a nutshell, ignore.

Avoiding interactions with mean girls is the No. 1 thing that young women can do,“ adds Bacchus. “Surrounding yourself with friends who are a good influence, have your back and support you is crucial as well. When you do this, you lay a foundation for developing relationships with people for the rest of your life.“

Read more about dealing with mean girls

Mean girls rule the school? Help your daughter deal
How to deal with mean girl cliques
Helping your teen make positive friendships